Have you ever had a season of waiting that felt like it would never end? A season you spent on your knees begging, pleading, hoping, praying that things would change? Maybe you were waiting for healing, maybe it was restoration of a relationship, maybe it was wanting to grow a family, maybe it was waiting for a breakthrough in your career, maybe it was something else.
In seasons of waiting it easy to feel vulnerable, to feel ambushed from all sides. I have found seasons of waiting to be filled with fear and doubt. I don't doubt God's goodness or doubt his plan for me, but I do find myself doubting if what I expect God's goodness to look like is true. Will I still believe God is good if ___ never happens? I think I wrestle with that question during these times.
Life can sometimes feel like one long accumulation of seasons of waiting. We are all waiting on something. But I think many of us miss what God is calling out to us in a season of waiting. Waiting often feels like God is far away or just out of reach. When our circumstances have us surrounded, we often forget how close God truly is. Look up, he is right there, fighting your battles for you.
You are not what a test tells you that you are, what someone else tells you that you are, or even what your mind tells you that you are. You are God's. You are beloved, you are cherished, you are pursued and rescued. If this truth feels distant or not personal, dive deeper into His word, His love letter to you. Tell yourself the truth of God's love for you until you believe it.
Dig deep in community. Pastor Gabe has mentioned this often, we are not meant for isolation. Your small group or friends may not be able to relate perfectly to your situation, but that does not change the truth they can share with you, nor does it change their ability to walk beside you through this season.
Can you find the strength to look at waiting as a gift? You have the choice of perspective. You can choose to find gratitude for things you find, learn, grow in while you wait.
Easy Mode or Advanced Mode
I hit a wall with trying to be productive at work today, swimming in my thoughts and emotions, so I figured it was time to write. I've been fighting back frustration lately, questioning purpose and calling a lot. It is not a place I like to sit in long, but when you add on some insomnia and overworked weeks, it is hard to find time to wrestle though the emotions to find the other side.
This morning I drove my husband's car to work. We swapped over the weekend so I could help another church staff member cart rugs to our service on Sunday (Preston's vehicle is much larger than mine). In the car there is a screen that raises and lowers in the top of the dashboard for the back-up camera when it turns on and off. It also works as a GPS when you push the right buttons which I discovered yesterday. This morning when I turned the car on it asked if I wanted the GPS in "easy mode" or "advanced mode". I looked at it and thought, nothing in my life has ever been easy, why would I pick easy mode for the GPS? It just wouldn't fit.
And then I proceeded to have a 12 minute drive of a pity party for myself, reliving past trials and wilderness seasons that proved incredibly difficult to handle, and our current struggle of our foster care journey taking many more months for a placement than we ever expected. I've been fighting off the feelings for a while and I don't know why this morning was different. Maybe it was triggered by losing out on a house that we put in an offer on, our first ever offer on a house and we lose. Again, the nothing is ever easy party line!
I drive by our agency every chance I get, praying over them and their decisions. I pray for their wisdom and clarity, I pray for God's will to be done in their office. And I finish asking for peace and patience if today is not our day. And every day so far, it has not been our day.
Back in the fall on Black Friday, I bought several bottles of my favorite dry shampoo. I rarely see it on sale and they were on a BOGO, so I stocked up. In the back of my mind I thought about the reliance I would soon have on dry shampoo to keep myself looking put together when I didn't have time for a shower because my world had been taken over by a little one. Two weeks ago I had to go back to the store and buy more dry shampoo for the first time since Black Friday, having run out of that stock pile, and still no baby.
So we keep waiting, we remain in faithful obedience to what we have been called to, we leave our yes on the table as much as we want to rip it away in fear and doubt. It's been over a month since our last potential placement call and every day that goes by seems to get more and more difficult to add to the streak. And when the gentle questions from friends come, asking for updates, we choose to speak of His faithfulness to us, how the joy will come in the morning.
The advanced mode has never been a choice, I would have picked easy every time. Easy, quick, painless, but that's not how God has worked in my life. Waiting in faithfulness, painful growing pains, slow and methodical obedience, has gotten me where I am today. It rarely makes sense in the moment, in the trial, in the storm. It is only when I look behind at the last trial or I get to end of this one and see the good that God made out of it that I understand why the advanced mode was necessary. I may still not like it, but I get it. It may not make it easier, but it makes it comprehendible.
God is bigger than a "no"
It has been about a month and a half since our official certification. Some of you might be wondering where we are in the process and looking for an update.
I actually had a different post written on this page about two weeks ago. We got our first placement call and though we said no, I thought I would write all about it and how we would have had one "no" and the next call was a "yes". But God doesn't work in our view of perfection, nor is being a foster parent a picture perfect story to tell.
Our first potential placement call was something we wish we could have said yes to, but it was for twice the amount of kiddos we had agreed to foster and we didn't want to take on more than we could handle. So we said "no".
I instantly began to worry about who would care for these little ones and provide for their needs. I analyzed and processed and reached out to friends that have foster care experience. I could not be more thankful for the wisdom I was given back that helped me enlarge my perspective of God's sovereignty over foster care. He is bigger than our "no" and had already worked out the right situation for those little ones!
Our second potential placement call came about a week later and we said "yes". We called our parents, texted our people and asked for prayers, and then received a call about 2 hours later (and $100 of baby stuff at Target later) that the court made a decision not to place this little one into the foster care system. The range of emotions we felt in a 2 hour span from the highest and most excited feelings mixed with being slightly overwhelmed to crashing disappointment, it was exhausting and crushing to say the least. There were quite a few tears, especially on that trip back to Target to return all the baby clothes.
But a few days later, after giving ourselves a time to be sad and disappointed, I realized that I was grateful that we had the opportunity to know we could say "yes" to something. I actually said yes to this situation before talking to Preston. I told the intake counselor, "I'll call you back if Preston has a problem, but assume all systems are a go." Preston was steady as a rock, responding to my overly excited call, "this is what we've been waiting for, this is what we've prepared for." To have gone through that situation, even though it didn't work out, is an assurance that we know how to say "yes" and we just wait on God for the rest.
We assumed the next call would be it. Third time's a charm. I had the second version of this post pre-written in my head. God is bigger than a "no" and paves the way for the perfect "yes" finishing the post with the announcement of becoming foster parents.
Our third potential placement call came about a week after our second call. As much as we were anticipating it being perfect and right, God had other plans. It was a situation we felt very unequipped for and not capable of providing the full need for, so again, we said "no". I felt guilt and worry that people would judge us or think we were being picky. We agreed to be foster parents and take care of children in need, and here we are saying no to two different situations brought to us with high needs. Our agency has been such a blessing and God has really shown His perfect plan through having led our decision to work with this agency. Before I even could get to justifying our "no" to this third call, the intake counselor at the agency was telling me, "don't worry, there are other families I have in mind. We will call you again." I was reminded that saying "yes" to something that we are not called to and is not the right "yes" takes away the chance for someone else's "yes". It also robs us the chance of our right "yes" in the future if we say "yes" to something we shouldn't beforehand.
So we continue to wait. We wait for God to continue to write our story and that of our foster child's, and we wait (some days less patiently than others) for the day that our stories will be intricately woven together as only God can do. I won't pretend that its easy, my heart hurts when I walk past our nursery more and more each day. We long for the day when we can hold our little one and tell them of how much they have been waited for, how much they have been prayed for, and how we could never tell them enough of the love we already have for them. I pray every morning for our foster child, and I pray for the children we received calls about. I pray for God to continue giving us the right responses to all calls so that we make the right "no"s and the right "yes"s. We wait with anticipation for the work He has begun that we know He will continue to completion.
I actually had a different post written on this page about two weeks ago. We got our first placement call and though we said no, I thought I would write all about it and how we would have had one "no" and the next call was a "yes". But God doesn't work in our view of perfection, nor is being a foster parent a picture perfect story to tell.
Our first potential placement call was something we wish we could have said yes to, but it was for twice the amount of kiddos we had agreed to foster and we didn't want to take on more than we could handle. So we said "no".
I instantly began to worry about who would care for these little ones and provide for their needs. I analyzed and processed and reached out to friends that have foster care experience. I could not be more thankful for the wisdom I was given back that helped me enlarge my perspective of God's sovereignty over foster care. He is bigger than our "no" and had already worked out the right situation for those little ones!
Our second potential placement call came about a week later and we said "yes". We called our parents, texted our people and asked for prayers, and then received a call about 2 hours later (and $100 of baby stuff at Target later) that the court made a decision not to place this little one into the foster care system. The range of emotions we felt in a 2 hour span from the highest and most excited feelings mixed with being slightly overwhelmed to crashing disappointment, it was exhausting and crushing to say the least. There were quite a few tears, especially on that trip back to Target to return all the baby clothes.
But a few days later, after giving ourselves a time to be sad and disappointed, I realized that I was grateful that we had the opportunity to know we could say "yes" to something. I actually said yes to this situation before talking to Preston. I told the intake counselor, "I'll call you back if Preston has a problem, but assume all systems are a go." Preston was steady as a rock, responding to my overly excited call, "this is what we've been waiting for, this is what we've prepared for." To have gone through that situation, even though it didn't work out, is an assurance that we know how to say "yes" and we just wait on God for the rest.
We assumed the next call would be it. Third time's a charm. I had the second version of this post pre-written in my head. God is bigger than a "no" and paves the way for the perfect "yes" finishing the post with the announcement of becoming foster parents.
Our third potential placement call came about a week after our second call. As much as we were anticipating it being perfect and right, God had other plans. It was a situation we felt very unequipped for and not capable of providing the full need for, so again, we said "no". I felt guilt and worry that people would judge us or think we were being picky. We agreed to be foster parents and take care of children in need, and here we are saying no to two different situations brought to us with high needs. Our agency has been such a blessing and God has really shown His perfect plan through having led our decision to work with this agency. Before I even could get to justifying our "no" to this third call, the intake counselor at the agency was telling me, "don't worry, there are other families I have in mind. We will call you again." I was reminded that saying "yes" to something that we are not called to and is not the right "yes" takes away the chance for someone else's "yes". It also robs us the chance of our right "yes" in the future if we say "yes" to something we shouldn't beforehand.
So we continue to wait. We wait for God to continue to write our story and that of our foster child's, and we wait (some days less patiently than others) for the day that our stories will be intricately woven together as only God can do. I won't pretend that its easy, my heart hurts when I walk past our nursery more and more each day. We long for the day when we can hold our little one and tell them of how much they have been waited for, how much they have been prayed for, and how we could never tell them enough of the love we already have for them. I pray every morning for our foster child, and I pray for the children we received calls about. I pray for God to continue giving us the right responses to all calls so that we make the right "no"s and the right "yes"s. We wait with anticipation for the work He has begun that we know He will continue to completion.
He's in the waiting
I hate ants. If I thought there was a word stronger than hate, I would use it. This fall, my hate for ants has overtaken my hate for spiders and creamed spinach and the sound of nails on a chalkboard. It is that bad. We have had an ant infestation that has grown from a few ants by our back door, to hoards of them that have taken over my kitchen, my bathroom, and various other corners of our house. We have done everything we can think of to get rid of them from cleaning the house top to bottom (regularly), spraying, using a pest control company, praying, you name it.
When I think about what bothers me most about these teeny crawling little bugs, its their persistence. Just when I think we have turned the corner and won the battle on these pests, I find one crawling out of my laptop on my desk at work, knowing full well it has traveled from the coffee table at home where my laptop rested all night. These little guys don't give up easily and they have come to be quite content in our home that I am ready to burn to the ground (yes I do have a flair for the dramatics, thank you for asking!).
As I smashed the little guy on my desk this morning and contemplated muttering a less than holy word or two under my breath, I was reminded of other ants in my life. The persistent things that never seem to go away no matter how hard I try. Things like doubt, worry, unbelief, control.
October was a good month for us. We tracked right along toward our goal for becoming fully certified as foster parents. A few last minute scrambles to get the final pieces of our file into our agency before the deadline left us feeling confident and optimistic. But after our certification meeting on the 29th, we found out good news and bad news. Though our home-study had been approved by our agency's certification committee, our background checks from NC and GA had stalled. We would not be seeing the words "you are fully certified as foster parents" written in an email in the month of October. The ants of doubt, worry, fear, and unbelief began to crawl out of the woodwork and become very apparent for me.
How much longer are we going to be waiting? Did the state governments receive our background checks? Are they lost? Will they ever get back to our agency? Are they lost at our agency? Will we ever get certified? Is God even calling us to this? Y'all I can spiral out of control with my questions real fast, just like one or two ants in your kitchen can quickly turn into hoards of them all over the house.
And I have gone round for round with these questions for months now. Circling on them, praying over them, surrendering them and their answers to the control and wisdom of the Lord, just to days later let my creeping doubts take over and leave me grasping back at the control for finding out the answers in my own ways. This constant cycle of realizing the issue, treating it, and having it come creeping back again reminds me so much of our darn ants.
The common responses we hear from friends when we share that we are still waiting are the "all in God's timing" and "God is growing your patience" types of phrases. They are certainly true. But, something I have realized lately is that I keep praying for God to show up and advance our position, when God is already here. God is here in our waiting.
I went to turn on my worship playlist and this song was the first one to play. The chorus sings:
Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
He's never failing
And He has been here in the waiting with us. He's been carving out spaces for us to find extra rest, extra date nights and time together as a couple, and time with our community. He has shown up by giving us times of laughter and joy. If we weren't so stubbornly looking on where we want to go/be, we would be able to see the blessings He is raining down on us each day. And maybe that's a far better treatment for the ants we have in our lives, something that will keep them at bay daily. In the waiting, we keep our hearts still, eyes transfixed, and feet moving as we are called. And one day, the right day, the perfect day, we will see those words "certified Foster Parents" and "ready for a placement".
Please Pray for our Paperwork!
(sometimes I just can't help a good alliteration)
As we near pretty close to the start of a dream, we figured we should officially let the cat out of the bag. I think there's already a few paws sticking out of the bag as we have not been super tight-lipped about our journey thus far, nor shy in asking for prayers and support from those closest to us. But a few months ago we (officially) started down a path that will forever change our family and our lives, and we are pretty excited about sharing it with everyone.
We have decided to pursue becoming foster parents. It is big and probably crazy, but God has been flinging the doors wide open for us to start and continue walking down this path. We have been blessed by family and a church community that has continuously lifted us up as we seek out each step of our submission to God's big plan for foster care in our lives.
If you want the quick and simple info, this section is for you. We decided to move forward with foster care this summer in mid-June. We took our certification classes in August and have completed mountains of paperwork over the past few months. We went through 3 home-studies as well. We are on track to be certified in October. We have told our agency that we prefer to foster a child that is under age 2. Agencies typically have knowledge of children coming into foster care a few hours before they are placed in a home (if you missed that, it said HOURS), so we won't know gender or exact age/size until literally the day they come to live in our house. Our agency doesn't pick kids for families, it picks families for kids.
Things you can be praying for:
-Our Paperwork: we submitted background/record checks to 3 different states (yay! for 3 moves in 2 years on my part), so there is a lot of stuff that is currently being processed by many different hands. We would love prayers for things to go smoothly and quickly with our record checks, and that nothing gets lost along the way. We also have answered countless questionnaires and assessments that will all be assessed during our certification process.
-Our patience (well Shannon's): we are anxious to have a little one in our home for the first time and really trying to lean into the wisdom of God's timing but that is easier said than done!
-Our family and community: we are so thankful for our people in Charlottesville and our amazing families. They are seriously the best. We know that they will be the hands and feet of Jesus to us when we become a family of three humans and a dog, and we just want them to be lifted up in prayer as they love on us!
-Our future foster kiddo(s) and his/her family(families): Whatever the situation that will cause us all to join paths, please pray for us to have compassion, love, servitude, and grace for our foster kiddo's family. Foster care is not an us vs them situation and we pray hard that we can all form a team of love for this little one.
If you want more details, feel free to keep reading! Written by Shannon.
If you had told me a year ago we would be deep in the process of becoming foster parents, I would have told you that was crazy. It wasn't that I thought foster care was crazy or being a foster parent was crazy. In fact I have wanted to be a foster parent for a number of years. It was something on my mind every time I thought about family and children. I went to a church in college that really shaped my heart for foster care and adoption. When Preston and I dated and got engaged, it was something we talked about, but not very decidedly. After working for a number of months at our local hospital in Charlottesville, I felt my heart breaking for the need for foster families here and now in our city. It seemed like at least once a week there was a little one in need of a home, and each time it broke my heart to not take them home myself. After listening to me talk and probably sob for months, Preston finally took some time to pray about foster care and whether he felt God was calling us to foster care now. A sweet friend of mine has this saying, "God never calls just one spouse," and it is such a true statement. Foster care is something that requires a team effort in a household of two parents, and I knew that I had to wait on Preston's heart and God's timing with calling Preston into this mission as well before we could move forward. It took some time, but God is always on time.
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| Chick-Fil-A lunch date after paperwork and fingerprints |
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| Our first donations and hand-me downs. Thank you Stiners! |
We are very excited to become foster parents and for a little one to arrive on our doorstep very soon (and we quite possibly will see him/her for the first time on our front porch). Sometimes I struggle to fall asleep at night just thinking about what life will be like with a little one in the house, although I probably should get the sleep now while I can. And while the excitement is great and we are loving setting up a nursery, we have to also wrestle with the reality of the other side of all of this. Foster care is a part of some of the most broken places in our world. As excited as we are, we also know that the need for foster care means that there is so much suffering and pain in our community. Foster care is not about "bad" biological parents or biological parents that don't love their kids enough. In fact, I believe the majority of parents with children in the foster care system love their children very deeply. Foster care is not about saving kids and putting them in perfect homes. Preston and I are not Jesus. We are not Superman and Wonder Woman, although those would be fun Halloween costumes. We are all in need of saving and being adopted into God's family. We are in no way going to perfect foster parents without any flaw or need for grace. This is not about thinking that we can do it "better" than the biological parents or anything like that. Judgments like that have no place in this and don't serve anyone. For Preston and I, this is about stepping into where God has called us and saying, "if You love them, if You gave your everything for them, so will I".
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| And of course, a picture of Sammy because she was rather left out of this post. She is excited for another snuggle buddy in the house and has been floating a rumor we might be taking more family walks soon. |
Everything but the Kitchen Sink Chili
Fall weather is upon us in Virginia. Well I should say fall temperatures are here, because we have experienced rain more than anything else. Seeing the sun for more than a few hours is rare around here. No one has a desire to go pumpkin shopping or apple picking in torrential downpours. And rain jackets can only be styled so many ways!
This weekend was no different with rain and dipping temperatures, so I decided to get out my larger sauce pot and cook up some chili. I love how versatile chili can be flavor wise and ingredient wise. I usually rely on a 5 spice combo to tie everything together, but from there, its usually whatever I have lying around. I will open up the fridge and the pantry and just start pulling things out(especially veggies about to go bad). My only downfall is that I need my husband home for my chili making endeavors because I am a failure at opening cans. I personally blame our can opener, because I did not have this challenge until I reached adulthood, but who knows. I also like to make a big batch of chili and eat the leftovers through out the week. Hello easy meal prep.
This weekend I went with sauteed onion, garlic, zucchini for a base. Kidney, Black, and White (Cannellini) Beans and leftover ground turkey were used for protein. I added quinoa towards the end which also has protein, but I added that to avoid having to make a grain on the side with the leftovers for my husband (carb-lover). For sauce/liquid, we used a can of diced tomatoes with the juice, pureed whole tomatoes, and some enchilada sauce. My spice combo is Cayenne, Chili Pepper, Cumin, Garlic Powder, and Paprika. And of course salt and pepper.
Every one is unique with their spice preferences, so I suggest starting out with a 1/2-3/4 tsp of each spice and go up from there. For the heat lovers, you may find that you want more Chili Pepper or to add Siracha or green chilies. I know some others love garlic and would want to add more minced garlic from the start and more garlic powder in the spice mix. Some of us don't roll that way, so I write the recipe from a conservative approach! This can also be a very allergy-friendly meal as well for those of you searching for something that is plant-based, vegetarian (leave out the turkey), dairy free, gluten free(check the brand of beans you buy), and easy to home make. This made about 6 helpings for us, but it depends on how big your tupperware and bowls are when you portion this out. A great choice for taking to a friend with a new baby or recovering from surgery or someone just needing good comfort food.
What I include below is not mandatory. Chili is what you make it to be and what you want it to be. If you don't like black beans, then leave them out. If you would rather serve this over rice, leave out the quinoa. Maybe you want to make this into salad one day. Or perhaps you want to put it in ramekins and bake cornbread on top. Like I said, the versatility makes the possibilities quite endless. I highly suggest buying the canned ingredients when you see them on sale so you have them on hand whenever you get a chili making itch this fall.
I like to prep things before I get started cooking. I like to pre-chop my veggies so they are ready to be added to the pan as soon as I need them. Usually I will have a bowl of all the beans already drained and rinsed before I even turn on the stove. Pureeing the whole tomatoes can also require time away from the pot on the stove, so I like to do that ahead of time as well. Stress-free cooking is always my preference! Start to finish, this probably takes me 30-45 minutes from prep to table.
Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1/2 onion roughly chopped
1 1/2 cloves of minced garlic
1 small zucchini chopped (I quarter thin slices)
1 can diced tomatoes in juice
1 can red kidney beans drained and rinsed
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can Cannellini beans drained and rinsed
1/2 pound ground turkey, browned and cooked through
1 can whole tomatoes, pureed
1/2 can red enchilada sauce
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon Chili pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground Cumin
3/4 teaspoon Garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Paprika
Salt and Black Pepper to taste
1 cup cooked quinoa
Directions:
1. In a large dutch oven or sauce pot over medium heat, add olive oil and heat till shiny (around 1 minute depending on stove type). Add chopped onion and saute until the onion is semi-translucent, stirring constantly.
2. Add garlic and chopped zucchini to the pot and sautee until zucchini is browning or becoming translucent, stirring to prevent burning of the garlic. Reduce heat slightly if necessary.
3. Add diced tomatoes to the pot and scrape any bits from the bottom of the pan. Stir to incorporate tomatoes and juice to the mixture.
4. Add beans, pureed whole tomatoes, and enchilada sauce to the pot. Add spices and cook for 15 minutes on low to medium-low heat. Stir occasionally to prevent sauce bubbles splattering your kitchen.
5. Add quinoa and taste. Add more spices if desired. Serve warm or store for future meals.
This weekend was no different with rain and dipping temperatures, so I decided to get out my larger sauce pot and cook up some chili. I love how versatile chili can be flavor wise and ingredient wise. I usually rely on a 5 spice combo to tie everything together, but from there, its usually whatever I have lying around. I will open up the fridge and the pantry and just start pulling things out(especially veggies about to go bad). My only downfall is that I need my husband home for my chili making endeavors because I am a failure at opening cans. I personally blame our can opener, because I did not have this challenge until I reached adulthood, but who knows. I also like to make a big batch of chili and eat the leftovers through out the week. Hello easy meal prep.
This weekend I went with sauteed onion, garlic, zucchini for a base. Kidney, Black, and White (Cannellini) Beans and leftover ground turkey were used for protein. I added quinoa towards the end which also has protein, but I added that to avoid having to make a grain on the side with the leftovers for my husband (carb-lover). For sauce/liquid, we used a can of diced tomatoes with the juice, pureed whole tomatoes, and some enchilada sauce. My spice combo is Cayenne, Chili Pepper, Cumin, Garlic Powder, and Paprika. And of course salt and pepper.
Every one is unique with their spice preferences, so I suggest starting out with a 1/2-3/4 tsp of each spice and go up from there. For the heat lovers, you may find that you want more Chili Pepper or to add Siracha or green chilies. I know some others love garlic and would want to add more minced garlic from the start and more garlic powder in the spice mix. Some of us don't roll that way, so I write the recipe from a conservative approach! This can also be a very allergy-friendly meal as well for those of you searching for something that is plant-based, vegetarian (leave out the turkey), dairy free, gluten free(check the brand of beans you buy), and easy to home make. This made about 6 helpings for us, but it depends on how big your tupperware and bowls are when you portion this out. A great choice for taking to a friend with a new baby or recovering from surgery or someone just needing good comfort food.
What I include below is not mandatory. Chili is what you make it to be and what you want it to be. If you don't like black beans, then leave them out. If you would rather serve this over rice, leave out the quinoa. Maybe you want to make this into salad one day. Or perhaps you want to put it in ramekins and bake cornbread on top. Like I said, the versatility makes the possibilities quite endless. I highly suggest buying the canned ingredients when you see them on sale so you have them on hand whenever you get a chili making itch this fall.
I like to prep things before I get started cooking. I like to pre-chop my veggies so they are ready to be added to the pan as soon as I need them. Usually I will have a bowl of all the beans already drained and rinsed before I even turn on the stove. Pureeing the whole tomatoes can also require time away from the pot on the stove, so I like to do that ahead of time as well. Stress-free cooking is always my preference! Start to finish, this probably takes me 30-45 minutes from prep to table.
Everything but the Kitchen Sink Chili
Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1/2 onion roughly chopped
1 1/2 cloves of minced garlic
1 small zucchini chopped (I quarter thin slices)
1 can diced tomatoes in juice
1 can red kidney beans drained and rinsed
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can Cannellini beans drained and rinsed
1/2 pound ground turkey, browned and cooked through
1 can whole tomatoes, pureed
1/2 can red enchilada sauce
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon Chili pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground Cumin
3/4 teaspoon Garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Paprika
Salt and Black Pepper to taste
1 cup cooked quinoa
Directions:
1. In a large dutch oven or sauce pot over medium heat, add olive oil and heat till shiny (around 1 minute depending on stove type). Add chopped onion and saute until the onion is semi-translucent, stirring constantly.
2. Add garlic and chopped zucchini to the pot and sautee until zucchini is browning or becoming translucent, stirring to prevent burning of the garlic. Reduce heat slightly if necessary.
3. Add diced tomatoes to the pot and scrape any bits from the bottom of the pan. Stir to incorporate tomatoes and juice to the mixture.
4. Add beans, pureed whole tomatoes, and enchilada sauce to the pot. Add spices and cook for 15 minutes on low to medium-low heat. Stir occasionally to prevent sauce bubbles splattering your kitchen.
5. Add quinoa and taste. Add more spices if desired. Serve warm or store for future meals.
Raspberry Salsa Bean Dip
This will be your next go to appetizer dish for tailgates, get-togethers, super bowl parties, baby showers, whatever the occasion, it will serve you well. A combo of cheese, beans, onions, and raspberry salsa. Don't be afraid, walk confidently into the grocery store and get these items and do not stop until you have finished baking this at home and are ready to eat. I prefer Tostitos scoops best for the chip vehicle, but this dip is not picky in what it pairs with. Also can be eaten on its own with a spoon, not that I have tried. Both dairy-free and regular recipes included. I like the dairy-free recipe a lot, but I do usually make the dairy filled one if I am feeding a crowd. I just don't think the df cream cheese melds as well, but that might just me my choice in brands.
Raspberry Salsa Bean Dip-Dairy Free
1 16 oz can black beans-drained and rinsed
Half of large red onion, finely chopped
1 8 oz block of dairy free cream cheese (Kite hill brand cream cheese)
3/4 cup of chunky medium salsa
1/2 cup of raspberry jam (I prefer Hero raspberry fruit spread)
8 oz. Mexican dairy free cheese blend (Daiya cheese shreds and 1/2 tsp of Taco seasoning mixed together)
Directions:
Preheat over to 325 degrees
1. After draining and rinsing the black beans, spread in a 13x9" pan. Sprinkle chopped onions over beans.
2. Place slices of, small scoops of, or pipe the cream cheese over bean and onions until covered.
3. Whisk salsa and raspberry jam, pour evenly over cream cheese mixture.
4. Sprinkle cheese to create thin layer over dish.
5. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Serve warm.
Raspberry Salsa Bean Dip-With Dairy
1 16 oz can black beans-drained and rinsed
Half of large red onion, finely chopped
1 8 oz block of cream cheese
3/4 cup of chunky medium salsa
1/2 cup of seedless raspberry jam
8 oz. Mexican cheese blend
Directions:
Preheat over to 325 degrees
1. After draining and rinsing the black beans, spread in a 13x9" pan. Sprinkle chopped onions over beans.
2. Place slices of cream cheese over bean and onions until covered.
3. Whisk salsa and raspberry jam, pour evenly over cream cheese mixture.
4. Sprinkle cheese to create thin layer over dish.
5. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Serve warm.
Raspberry Salsa Bean Dip-Dairy Free
1 16 oz can black beans-drained and rinsed
Half of large red onion, finely chopped
1 8 oz block of dairy free cream cheese (Kite hill brand cream cheese)
3/4 cup of chunky medium salsa
1/2 cup of raspberry jam (I prefer Hero raspberry fruit spread)
8 oz. Mexican dairy free cheese blend (Daiya cheese shreds and 1/2 tsp of Taco seasoning mixed together)
Directions:
Preheat over to 325 degrees
1. After draining and rinsing the black beans, spread in a 13x9" pan. Sprinkle chopped onions over beans.
2. Place slices of, small scoops of, or pipe the cream cheese over bean and onions until covered.
3. Whisk salsa and raspberry jam, pour evenly over cream cheese mixture.
4. Sprinkle cheese to create thin layer over dish.
5. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Serve warm.
Raspberry Salsa Bean Dip-With Dairy
1 16 oz can black beans-drained and rinsed
Half of large red onion, finely chopped
1 8 oz block of cream cheese
3/4 cup of chunky medium salsa
1/2 cup of seedless raspberry jam
8 oz. Mexican cheese blend
Directions:
Preheat over to 325 degrees
1. After draining and rinsing the black beans, spread in a 13x9" pan. Sprinkle chopped onions over beans.
2. Place slices of cream cheese over bean and onions until covered.
3. Whisk salsa and raspberry jam, pour evenly over cream cheese mixture.
4. Sprinkle cheese to create thin layer over dish.
5. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Serve warm.
Vegan Macaroni and Cheese (Finally!)
Vegan Macaroni and Cheese
I'm a huge fan cheesiness. Like strings of cheese dripping from your pizza slice as you pull away from the pie.
When you are adding the milk to your butter and flour mixture, go slow. I add about 1/8 to 1/4 of a cup at a time. This is a really crucial step in your cooking process and going too fast can cause your sauce to break. I also find that a miniature whisk works best to get all the flour combined, especially to get into the curves of a pot that a larger whisk might not be able to do. We use Almond Breeze Unsweetened Original Almond Milk for this recipe.
I also think the cheese sauce could be used as a nacho cheese sauce. But I have not tried it personally yet. The vegan cheese does not stay as liquid as long when it cools as dairy cheese, so keep that in mind when trying this for nacho cheese. It would probably need to stay in a crockpot dipper pot or warming tray. Also keep this in mind if you are looking to make this meal ahead of time.
Vegan Mac and Cheese
Serves about 4
4 Tablespoons of vegan butter
3 Tablespoons of all purpose flour
2 cups of unsweetened unflavored almond milk
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
Salt and Black Pepper to taste (usually 1/4 teaspoon of each to start)
2 cups of shredded vegan cheddar cheese
1 cup of shredded vegan mozzarella cheese
8 oz. of cooked elbow macaroni or other small pasta noodle
1. Warm an empty sauce pan over medium heat for a few seconds. Melt all the butter in the sauce pan.
2. Add all the flour to the melted butter and whisk constantly until cooked, about 1 minute.
3. Add almond milk very slowly to butter/flour mixture, whisking constantly. The roux will become thick and bubbly, then more thin as you add more milk.
4. Add paprika, garlic powder, mustard, salt, and pepper, and stir to combine into sauce.
5. Reduce heat to low and simmer for two minutes while continuing to whisk.
6. Add cheeses and stir until melted
7. Add pasta and stir till coated.
Serve immediately and enjoy!
Mac and Cheese (Dairy Ingredients)
Serves about 4
4 Tablespoons of unsalted butter
3 Tablespoons of all purpose flour
2 cups of milk
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
Salt and Black Pepper to taste (usually 1/4 teaspoon of each to start)
2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese
8 oz. of cooked elbow macaroni or other small pasta noodle
1. Warm an empty sauce pan over medium heat for a few seconds. Melt all the butter in the sauce pan.
2. Add all the flour to the melted butter and whisk constantly until cooked, about 1 minute.
3. Add almond milk very slowly to butter/flour mixture, whisking constantly. The roux will become thick and bubbly, then more thin as you add more milk.
4. Add paprika, garlic powder, mustard, salt, and pepper, and stir to combine into sauce.
5. Reduce heat to low and simmer for two minutes while continuing to whisk.
6. Add cheeses and stir until melted
7. Add pasta and stir till coated.
Serve immediately and enjoy!
If looking to try the one pot method: start with uncooked macaroni or pasta. add 2 cups of water after step 5
6. Bring to a boil
7. Add uncooked pasta to pot and cook 2 minutes less than package recommends
8. Add cheeses and cook for 2 minutes, or until pasta is done and sauce is at the desired consistency.
Serve immediately and enjoy!
Homemade Avocado Pesto Pasta Sauce
We are big fans of pasta in our house. Coming from an Italian family, pasta was a regular staple in my house growing up. It can be simple, easy to make, and cheap if you need it to be. My husband can make pasta, I can make it in a pinch, and it always feels like home!
This particular pasta dish has become a regular in our rotation of meals during the summer months. Last summer and this summer I have grown basil in our garden and used our homegrown basil for this dish. I love being able to make a dish that is backyard to table! (Now if only I could grow avocados!) We first had a sauce like this from our first round of Terra's Kitchen meals. If you are interested in trying their meal delivery system, we highly recommend them! You can check out my blogpost about our experience with their service.
Creamy pesto sauces out of cans from the store can hold a lot of unhealthy fat, but this dish harnesses the healthy fat in avocados to provide the vehicle for richness and creaminess of a pasta sauce. If you aren't a fan of avocado taste, don't worry. This is not an avocado tasting sauce, but much more a pesto tasting sauce with the basil, olive oil, parmesan, and spices in it.
I make use of my food processor for mixing and blending this sauce. If you have a blender, it will work well for this sauce as well. I also reserve some water that my pasta noodles cook in to use in my sauce, reserving more than I think I will need, in case my sauce needs it for creaminess. You could use hot water if you forget to save some from the pasta!
I have used bowtie, rigatoni, spaghetti, and macaroni with this pasta sauce. I will say that the rigatoni and the bowties are my favorites for the way that they hold onto the sauce, but I truly think that whatever kind of noodle you have on hand will work well with this sauce. I think gluten-free noodles will work well too! Those are next on my list (because they're next up to use in my pantry!).
1 Avocado (Mushier the better)
1 Handful of basil leaves (1/2 cup unpacked)
2 Tablespoons of olive oil
2-4 Tablespoons of hot reserved pasta water
1/4 cup dairy-free parmesan cheese (or regular if that's your preference)
1/4 tsp salt (or to taste)
1/8 tsp pepper (or to taste)
1/4 tsp Italian seasoning (or to taste)
Scoop green flesh of the avocado into a food processor or blender. Remove basil leaves from stems and add to avocado. Add olive oil, 2 Tbsps of pasta water, parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning to avocado and basil. Blend until smooth and creamy. Add more pasta water until desired creaminess has been reached.
This particular pasta dish has become a regular in our rotation of meals during the summer months. Last summer and this summer I have grown basil in our garden and used our homegrown basil for this dish. I love being able to make a dish that is backyard to table! (Now if only I could grow avocados!) We first had a sauce like this from our first round of Terra's Kitchen meals. If you are interested in trying their meal delivery system, we highly recommend them! You can check out my blogpost about our experience with their service.
Creamy pesto sauces out of cans from the store can hold a lot of unhealthy fat, but this dish harnesses the healthy fat in avocados to provide the vehicle for richness and creaminess of a pasta sauce. If you aren't a fan of avocado taste, don't worry. This is not an avocado tasting sauce, but much more a pesto tasting sauce with the basil, olive oil, parmesan, and spices in it.
I make use of my food processor for mixing and blending this sauce. If you have a blender, it will work well for this sauce as well. I also reserve some water that my pasta noodles cook in to use in my sauce, reserving more than I think I will need, in case my sauce needs it for creaminess. You could use hot water if you forget to save some from the pasta!
I have used bowtie, rigatoni, spaghetti, and macaroni with this pasta sauce. I will say that the rigatoni and the bowties are my favorites for the way that they hold onto the sauce, but I truly think that whatever kind of noodle you have on hand will work well with this sauce. I think gluten-free noodles will work well too! Those are next on my list (because they're next up to use in my pantry!).
Avocado Pesto Pasta Sauce
1 Avocado (Mushier the better)
1 Handful of basil leaves (1/2 cup unpacked)
2 Tablespoons of olive oil
2-4 Tablespoons of hot reserved pasta water
1/4 cup dairy-free parmesan cheese (or regular if that's your preference)
1/4 tsp salt (or to taste)
1/8 tsp pepper (or to taste)
1/4 tsp Italian seasoning (or to taste)
Scoop green flesh of the avocado into a food processor or blender. Remove basil leaves from stems and add to avocado. Add olive oil, 2 Tbsps of pasta water, parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning to avocado and basil. Blend until smooth and creamy. Add more pasta water until desired creaminess has been reached.
Enjoy!
The Weary World
It's December 1st and honestly, I wasn't ready for today. I've been playing Christmas music all week, put our tree up last weekend, and drank a couple glasses of hot cider. But I just don't feel ready for being in the Christmas spirit yet, or maybe at all this year.
Today I was driving home from work and the song "O Holy Night" was on the radio. This has always been one of my favorites, partially because I love to belt out (usually off-key) that epic "DI-VIIIIIIIINE". But the line "the weary world rejoices" clung to me and wouldn't let me go this afternoon. Weary, yes that's exactly how I would describe my heart, body, mind, everything right now. After taking the puppy outside, I couldn't make it up the staircase without falling apart. As I sat there, tears being licked by my sweet, hyper little friend, I just went over all the ways that I felt so weary. These past few months have been tough, to say the least, but where I head from here doesn't feel much more optimistic either.
So for those of you out there right now who find yourself as part of the weary world, I want you to know these things.
I am right there with you. I lost my aunt about 4 months ago and still often find myself processing through stages of grief. We also moved to a brand new city four months ago and still have yet to find community and feel like we have established ourselves here. My husband and I go days at a time without seeing each other on a weekly basis due to mismatched work schedules. I work full-time and am in school almost full-time (when you add in lab hours). I'm not complaining, I'm just weary. I'm not here to throw a pity party with you, I'm just here to say, I see you and I understand. The 25 job postings you applied to are not calling back. The grad schools turned you down (again maybe). Your marriage is in a low spot. The test results didn't come back clean. You are alone for your first Christmas.
We aren't the only ones. As I sat on the stairs trying to find the strength to get up, I thought about Mary, as in the mother of Jesus. I imagine she had to be pretty weary about now 2000 some years ago. (I do realize that Biblical scholars don't think Jesus was actually born in December.) Whether she and Joseph had started traveling to Bethlehem or not yet, she was in the final month of pregnancy. Though youth was on her side, she was every bit human as was the baby she was carrying, so I'm sure the aches, pains, and discomfort of the end of pregnancy were in full fledge. A long road trip on donkey-back, the fear of childbirth approaching, the rumors flying around town about her unwed pregnancy, the weight of carrying the son of God, the unknown of motherhood, I could see how easily she could have been weary. The Israelites/Jews spent thousands of years waiting for the Messiah, I think I would have been a little weary if I were them too.
We may not be rejoicing yet, but someday soon. I think God is okay with weary. He can make good things out of weary, but He also seeks to meet us where we are at. There is always something to be thankful for, even if its just the breath we just took and the potential it holds for a brighter tomorrow. The hope of Christ does not fade with seasons, it is everlasting and something we can always rejoice in if nothing else. When everything earthly seems to fade or pale or fail, we hold tightly to our salvation and the promise of eternity which will drastically supersede the time and joys of our time on earth.
A friend of mine from college, Alex Lewis, is doing a daily poetry share called The Weary World Rejoices, about the collision of pain and hope that we find ourselves in during this Christmas season. I checked it out for the first time this evening, and if you feel the need to spend some time lamenting during this Christmas season, I highly recommend signing up for their email list.
Today I was driving home from work and the song "O Holy Night" was on the radio. This has always been one of my favorites, partially because I love to belt out (usually off-key) that epic "DI-VIIIIIIIINE". But the line "the weary world rejoices" clung to me and wouldn't let me go this afternoon. Weary, yes that's exactly how I would describe my heart, body, mind, everything right now. After taking the puppy outside, I couldn't make it up the staircase without falling apart. As I sat there, tears being licked by my sweet, hyper little friend, I just went over all the ways that I felt so weary. These past few months have been tough, to say the least, but where I head from here doesn't feel much more optimistic either.
So for those of you out there right now who find yourself as part of the weary world, I want you to know these things.
I am right there with you. I lost my aunt about 4 months ago and still often find myself processing through stages of grief. We also moved to a brand new city four months ago and still have yet to find community and feel like we have established ourselves here. My husband and I go days at a time without seeing each other on a weekly basis due to mismatched work schedules. I work full-time and am in school almost full-time (when you add in lab hours). I'm not complaining, I'm just weary. I'm not here to throw a pity party with you, I'm just here to say, I see you and I understand. The 25 job postings you applied to are not calling back. The grad schools turned you down (again maybe). Your marriage is in a low spot. The test results didn't come back clean. You are alone for your first Christmas.
We aren't the only ones. As I sat on the stairs trying to find the strength to get up, I thought about Mary, as in the mother of Jesus. I imagine she had to be pretty weary about now 2000 some years ago. (I do realize that Biblical scholars don't think Jesus was actually born in December.) Whether she and Joseph had started traveling to Bethlehem or not yet, she was in the final month of pregnancy. Though youth was on her side, she was every bit human as was the baby she was carrying, so I'm sure the aches, pains, and discomfort of the end of pregnancy were in full fledge. A long road trip on donkey-back, the fear of childbirth approaching, the rumors flying around town about her unwed pregnancy, the weight of carrying the son of God, the unknown of motherhood, I could see how easily she could have been weary. The Israelites/Jews spent thousands of years waiting for the Messiah, I think I would have been a little weary if I were them too.
We may not be rejoicing yet, but someday soon. I think God is okay with weary. He can make good things out of weary, but He also seeks to meet us where we are at. There is always something to be thankful for, even if its just the breath we just took and the potential it holds for a brighter tomorrow. The hope of Christ does not fade with seasons, it is everlasting and something we can always rejoice in if nothing else. When everything earthly seems to fade or pale or fail, we hold tightly to our salvation and the promise of eternity which will drastically supersede the time and joys of our time on earth.
A friend of mine from college, Alex Lewis, is doing a daily poetry share called The Weary World Rejoices, about the collision of pain and hope that we find ourselves in during this Christmas season. I checked it out for the first time this evening, and if you feel the need to spend some time lamenting during this Christmas season, I highly recommend signing up for their email list.
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