Consistency is key

I heard this a lot in sports growing up. Whether being able to hit a cheerleading stunt six ways to Sunday in the days of practice leading up to a performance, or passing the soccer ball accurately to a teammate, being able to replicate a skill or sequence consistently showed learning and potentially mastery. It gave coaches and teams confidence and usually boded well for upcoming challenges. As I sat on my bed looking around at a house of small messes, I started to think about my husband's consistency up to this point in our marriage.

On my way out the door this morning as I headed for campus, I asked him to "please be productive" and finish the laundry task that he started this weekend. I had already folded half of the loads for him and was growing weary of the piles cluttering the coffee table. When he said he would do the laundry this weekend, my expectation had been set. Completion by 11:59pm Sunday night, but that was not the case and by this Monday morning I was a bit irritated watching him play computerized putt-putt in front of the piles. Coming home from class, I found a few laundry piles still on the dryer, half a pile on my dresser (in his defense my drawer organization is fairly intricate), and towels still in the dryer. Our kitchen still in the same disarray that it had been in when I left, but I knew to expect that.
After stewing about it for most of the day, I hit my climax of frustration. "The only consistent thing he has done in the past two and a half months is let me down!" I told God in frustration. (Monday nights are usually filled with more divine dialogue as P works a later shift.) I thought about the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, bed-making, and countless other things I do around this house to keep it running, on top of my class, a job, and working on a career. And then I let it spiral into other things that P has let me down about and hosted myself a grand ole pity party for uno.

And then the Lord, as only He can do, gently and kindly (although I probably deserved a swift kick in the pants), reminded me of who I am. The ground is level at the foot of the cross. I fail my husband and let him down all the time. It may not be in ways that tally up like a list of unchecked chores, but I am not better, not mightier, and certainly not better at this marriage thing than him.

Our marriage is supposed to reflect a greater and more beautiful picture of marriage, one that shows a perfect Prince who gives himself up completely for his redeemed Bride who wants nothing more than to serve Him and love him with her whole heart for her whole life. Tim Keller writes "through Christian marriage, the story of the gospel- of sin, grace, and restoration- can be seen and heard both inside the church and out in the world." If I can keep that in mind- sin, grace, and restoration - most importantly the grace part, as I have been given more than I could ever repay, perhaps that might just be the key of consistency I need to find.