God is bigger than a "no"

It has been about a month and a half since our official certification. Some of you might be wondering where we are in the process and looking for an update.

I actually had a different post written on this page about two weeks ago. We got our first placement call and though we said no, I thought I would write all about it and how we would have had one "no" and the next call was a "yes". But God doesn't work in our view of perfection, nor is being a foster parent a picture perfect story to tell.

Our first potential placement call was something we wish we could have said yes to, but it was for twice the amount of kiddos we had agreed to foster and we didn't want to take on more than we could handle. So we said "no".

I instantly began to worry about who would care for these little ones and provide for their needs. I analyzed and processed and reached out to friends that have foster care experience. I could not be more thankful for the wisdom I was given back that helped me enlarge my perspective of God's sovereignty over foster care. He is bigger than our "no" and had already worked out the right situation for those little ones!

Our second potential placement call came about a week later and we said "yes". We called our parents, texted our people and asked for prayers, and then received a call about 2 hours later (and $100 of baby stuff at Target later) that the court made a decision not to place this little one into the foster care system. The range of emotions we felt in a 2 hour span from the highest and most excited feelings mixed with being slightly overwhelmed to crashing disappointment, it was exhausting and crushing to say the least. There were quite a few tears, especially on that trip back to Target to return all the baby clothes.

But a few days later, after giving ourselves a time to be sad and disappointed, I realized that I was grateful that we had the opportunity to know we could say "yes" to something. I actually said yes to this situation before talking to Preston. I told the intake counselor, "I'll call you back if Preston has a problem, but assume all systems are a go." Preston was steady as a rock, responding to my overly excited call, "this is what we've been waiting for, this is what we've prepared for." To have gone through that situation, even though it didn't work out, is an assurance that we know how to say "yes" and we just wait on God for the rest.

We assumed the next call would be it. Third time's a charm. I had the second version of this post pre-written in my head. God is bigger than a "no" and paves the way for the perfect "yes" finishing the post with the announcement of becoming foster parents.

Our third potential placement call came about a week after our second call. As much as we were anticipating it being perfect and right, God had other plans. It was a situation we felt very unequipped for and not capable of providing the full need for, so again, we said "no". I felt guilt and worry that people would judge us or think we were being picky. We agreed to be foster parents and take care of children in need, and here we are saying no to two different situations brought to us with high needs. Our agency has been such a blessing and God has really shown His perfect plan through having led our decision to work with this agency. Before I even could get to justifying our "no" to this third call, the intake counselor at the agency was telling me, "don't worry, there are other families I have in mind. We will call you again." I was reminded that saying "yes" to something that we are not called to and is not the right "yes" takes away the chance for someone else's "yes". It also robs us the chance of our right "yes" in the future if we say "yes" to something we shouldn't beforehand.

So we continue to wait. We wait for God to continue to write our story and that of our foster child's, and we wait (some days less patiently than others) for the day that our stories will be intricately woven together as only God can do. I won't pretend that its easy, my heart hurts when I walk past our nursery more and more each day. We long for the day when we can hold our little one and tell them of how much they have been waited for, how much they have been prayed for, and how we could never tell them enough of the love we already have for them. I pray every morning for our foster child, and I pray for the children we received calls about. I pray for God to continue giving us the right responses to all calls so that we make the right "no"s and the right "yes"s. We wait with anticipation for the work He has begun that we know He will continue to completion.